Sunday, June 29, 2008

Pride Burns!

I experienced my first Pride this weekend and it was such a treat! I learned a very valuable lesson though. Don't wear v-necks when it's 90 degrees out.


What I don't understand is why the V isn't centered. Not that my body was completely symmetrical to begin with, but this certainly doesn't help. I was so worried about my arms getting a farmer's tan that I completely forgot that other parts of my body could get nasty tan lines too. Not to mention my neck. I'm a redneck now! I think I can embrace being a redneck though. I stopped by Safeway this afternoon and got a bag of deliciously fried Jo Jos for lunch. Mmm so greasy.

My nose is probably burnt the most. But it's also bruised. No, there were no girl fights, just drunken dancing.

A side note about Pride. I never realized how many gay men there are in Seattle! There were probably a lot of visitors from out of town, but it's still surprising!

Friday, June 27, 2008

These are a few of my favorite things

In the past few months, random strangers have stumbled across my blog through search engines by searching for the weirdest things. Here are some of my favorite search queries from the past few months that people have used to find my blog:

pazzo simply crazy shoes - simply crazy!

dog sadism - sicko.

how to stop old lady feeding pigeons in my neighbourhood - kill the pigeons

john bartlett black suit super 110 - what the hell?

cooking and nutrition sing-a-longs lyric - adorable! I hope they found what they were looking for.

pepperoni sticks pork-heart - I'm glad someone else was equally as grossed out that they had to go online to learn more.

ideal weight" "figure skating" formula russian - What?

male dior model workout - sorry, buddy, not gonna find that here.

how do you say cry in italian Pazzo - it's piangere, not pazzo. Pazzo means CRAZY!

i,m 69 inch male and 145 pounds am i fat - No you aren't! That's what I'm aspiring for!

sadism - Sicko!

man cleavage - Yes, you will find that here. Plenty of man cleavage for everyone!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Almost Famous

My sister is famous! ...almost

Check out this recent article from the Seattle Times. My sister was interviewed and she revealed something pretty amusing about herself.

Why the doctor's scale gives us the chills

By Nicole Tsong

Seattle Times staff reporter

Karen Cheung likes to weigh herself first thing in the morning, pre-breakfast, sans clothes and alone. Sound familiar?

But at the doctor's office, with a weighing witness on hand, the same measures taken for accuracy, such as removing shoes and pulling change from pockets, can feel humiliating. There's also the tap-tap-tapping business of a balance scale that usually traps you into an unfortunate verdict.

"The doctor [weigh-in] is always more," said Seattleite Cheung, 24. "I just know it's three or four pounds off."

The doctor's office strips you down to your most naked, figuratively. For a brief moment, all the personal obsessing goes public, and the result is recorded for posterity. For whatever reasons, all that fumbling around, taking off shoes, jackets and more, never works out — it always seems as if there are a few extra pounds. And then, there are no redos unless you count next year.

There is an expert explanation for this weighty issue, with several factors contributing to weight fluctuation during the day. That's helpful for people like Cheung who know what their real weight is, but people living on Planet Denial might have to face the scale.

"I don't know people necessarily weigh themselves regularly," said Bonnie Taub-Dix, a registered dietitian in New York and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "I have patients who weigh themselves when they go to the doctor's once a year. They're shocked when they see they've gained 10 pounds over a year."

Wait! I've got a false tooth!

Sandra Stufflebeam, a certified medical assistant at Minor & James Medical in Seattle, tries to help the mildly insecure feel better about obsessing over the weigh-in. A bad outcome can mess with your head.

She jokes with patients as they strip accessories that it's "Naked Friday." She tells women that mascara and lotion add pounds, their underwear is made of lead and jeans are heavy.

"I try to have them take off as much as they legally can in the hallway," she said.

People regularly set down bags and take off shoes; she has even seen men take off belts. They also pull out wallets and keys, and she had one patient remove his watch and glasses.

"Men, they try to suck it in like it's going to go somewhere," she said.

Some patients plan ahead. Rhondalei Gabuat, of Renton, once had a routine on the day of a doctor's appointment: The 28-year-old used the restroom beforehand, ate sparingly and wore light clothing and flip flops.

Gabuat no longer focuses as much on the trip to the scale during a doctor's visit. Now, results sometimes compel her into monitoring her weight more.

"The last time I got weighed, I didn't feel heavier, but the number on the scale made a difference," she said.

Your permanent record

Bridget Haney, 52, of Bremerton, said she doesn't always remember what she weighs when she gets on a scale at home. But the doctor's record feels permanent.

"It's good if you're making progress, then you see that," she said. "It's more a reality check because somebody else is weighing you."

But that number usually isn't enough to persuade her to change the way she eats and exercises.

"I suppose if I were having health issues or the doctor said you really need to lose weight, I might, but nobody's said that so far."

The weigh-in affects how you feel about yourself, though more for some than others, said Taub-Dix.

"It can have a strong psychological impact from the number on the scale," she said.

Our ups and downs

Weight fluctuates for several reasons, experts say, but it also helps to know what your base weight typically is.

Clothing, time of day, when you use the bathroom, water weight and hormones all play into weight change during the day.

"There are things you may have to take into consideration," Taub-Dix said. "Did you eat a very salty meal the day before, or a pickle? Sodium will have an effect on your weight because it causes fluid retention."

The scale also could be the culprit. Unless you know your doctor has the scale calibrated consistently, it's possible the scale is off.

But finding out more by regularly stepping on a scale at home is the most reliable way to track yourself, whether you're maintaining your current weight or trying to lose. At home, you can control time of day and what you're wearing.

Some people do well with daily weigh-ins, while others prefer once a week. Make sure to keep it reasonable so it works for you, experts say.

Cheung adds more accountability to her routine with another witness — a friend. They meet once a week for weigh-ins.

"We share," she said. "We're supposed to be in this together. We need to keep each other on track."

Now at the doctor's office, instead of fretting like she did when she was younger, she puts down her handbag and steps on.

"I kind of already know approximately what it's going to be, so it's not really a shock," she said.

The other alternative is saying no to the doctor's scale. You're allowed. Weighing is not supposed to be traumatic.

"It should be a confirmation, not a reprimand," said Taub-Dix.

Summer Fridays!

Hot damn! A new "Summer Fridays" policy was just implemented which will allow us to get out of work early on Fridays at 2:00. It will take effect July 4th through Labor day. Hurrah!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Give me your calories!

My coworker Peter warns me that the following video is the reason that I need to gain weight. I think he's right.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Have your cake


The cake shown above was purchased from two pleasantly plump ladies who sell their baked goods at the Issaquah farmer's market. This is the second cake we bought from them and it was just as delicious as the first. Surprisingly, the cake lasted about 5 days.

I want more!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Hot Damn!

I need to even out my farmer's tan so this better be accurate!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Some of you have already been warned about my newly developed bad habit, but I'll let the rest of you in on it so that you can take the necessary precautions.

My new bad habit involves Madonna's song 4 Minutes. A few times during the song, Madonna sings "Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock". So naturally, every time she sings this, I raise both of my index fingers and wave them back and forth to the "tick tocks". Now, this may all seem like harmless fun, but things become dangerous when I'm doing this while I'm driving. Whenever 4 Minutes comes on the radio and it gets to that part of the song, both of my hands naturally come off the wheel and my fingers can't help but tick and tock. It's very unsafe and I feel like a hazard. I really can't help it though.

I don't know if I should attribute this behavior to being gay or to being a bad driver. I'm guessing it's a horrible combination.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


My goldfish plant finally started flowering. Hurrah!


Monday, June 16, 2008


We brought our new cat home this weekend! Her name is Turnip and she's adorable. She's still very shy and getting used to her new environment. Turnip started warming up a little yesterday.

Special delivery!



Eat it!

Our allergies have been okay so far.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th! I'm wildly superstitious, as most of you know, and the first bad things has happened to me already. The deli that I buy my breakfast burritos from has closed... until August.

This is the nightmare of my life. Those breakfast burritos are disgustingly delicious with their greasy hash browns, eggs, sausage and cheese. What ever will I do? I hope this day doesn't get any worse.

This is most inauspicious.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I wore trousers and a collared shirt to work today since I'm going to my cousin's graduation ceremony tonight. Thank you to AR for pointing out how "fabulous" my ass looks in the trousers. I just went to the bathroom to take a look for myself and she's right, my ass is looking especially perky today. Wonderful. Perhaps I should wear trousers more.

Yes, I like the word trouser.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I love Onions

Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'

This video is very relevant to my weight gain diet. I should do exactly the opposite. I'm gnawing on my highly caloric coworker right now.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I went to my first yoga class at 8 Limbs on Saturday. What a workout! I'm still sore today, especially around my inner thighs. The focus of the class was "opening the groin". Supposedly, Americans have really tense groins since we're always sitting at desks, crossing our legs and since we don't squat regularly, like people do in other countries. Every time the instructor said the word "groin" I giggled a little. I'm mature.

Turns out my groin region is very tense, along with every other part of my body. My toes, however, are very loose and relaxed. We did a squatting pose where we put most of our weight on just the toes, and I didn't feel a thing. It's a good sign of healthy, relaxed toes! Must be from years of picking up random stuff with my toes, like remote controls and food that's fallen on the floor.

I'm excited for my next class!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Man Crush


My man crush Anthony Bourdain spoke at the Moore last night and made me fall in love with him even more. Anthony was exactly the way he's portrayed in his show No Reservations. He was sharp, witty and very snarky. He also cussed a lot and referenced the Simpsons multiple times.

Anthony gave great insight on where he thought the culinary world was headed and shared his philosophy of good food. He also had no trouble censoring himself. He called Rachel Ray a rhino and poked fun at pretty much every food network "star", especially Sandra Lee. I found out that he and I share a similar appreciation of Giada De Laurentis, Mario Batali (and his dad's restaurant Salumi's) and Ina Garten.

I love Anthony Bourdain and want to have all of his skinny babies.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

What's new pussycat?

My sister's friend offered us a cat yesterday since he has too many. Karen is considering adopting it. I'm not sure if it's such a good idea considering all of us are allergic, especially her boyfriend.

I don't really mind since I won't be the one taking care of the cat, and I have my own floor and can just close the door to keep allergens out. The nice thing about adopting this cat over getting a kitten is that it's already 6 years old, so it's trained and we know what type of personality it has. It won't be as cute as a kitten though.

Another plus of adopting this cat is the satisfaction guarantee we've been offered by her friend. If we're too allergic or can't handle the cat, we can return it to him.

So, these are the steps to determining if you're ready for children:

1. Have Kevin (or any other little brother) as a room mate
2. Adopt a cat
3. Have babies!

I would much rather get a hamster. We can put the hamster in one of those little plastic balls and attach it to the Roomba! What fun.

By the way, here's a fantastic video of little kittens fighting. There's a delightful suprise at the end!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I'm not suitable for work

Brr! It feels like fall right now. How is it so cold and rainy in June? It's so difficult getting up in the morning. You know it's cold when I start nipping at work. I noticed this when I went to the bathroom this morning to check myself out. With the small amount of shame I still have left, I put on a coat to cover up. It's bad enough I'm wearing another one of my cleavage shirts.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm a man, damnit!

Photobucket Photobucket

I spent this past Saturday afternoon with one of my favorite girls, dishing about boys over happy hour and watching the new Sex and the City movie (which was glorious, by the way). So, I decided to balance out this estrogen packed afternoon with an evening of mixed martial arts on CBS.

The little boy in me has always had a fascination with violence, but what drew me in initially was Gina Carano, aka Crush on American Gladiators. Turns out Crush is also a mixed martial arts fighter. She's quite good actually. I went upstairs to grab some chips and noticed my sister's boyfriend watching Gina "Conviction" Carano, or Crush, punching another girl's face repeatedly. I was hooked.

Oh yeah, and the fighters of mixed martial arts usually have intimidating nicknames like Conviction or Ruthless. One of the fighters who works at a steel mill for his day job goes by the name of "Hands of Steel". Clever. I think mine would be "Carnival Crazy". Kevin "Carnival Crazy" C__. It's perfect.

The main attraction for the night was the controversial Kimbo Slice who started off as a street fighter and has recently been given a lot of attention in the world of mixed martial arts. This man is scary. He weighs well over 200 pounds and has a huge beard. What could he possibly be hiding under that beard? Fire ants, broken glass? And did I mention this man has gold teeth?

What I would really want to see is a fight between Kimbo and Wolf from American Gladiators. My money's on Wolf.

Photobucket Photobucket

Sunday, June 1, 2008

I guess it's working?

So apparently my weight gain diet has been working. Over the weekend, a casual acquaintance of mine asked me about my recent trip to New York. I replied saying I had a lot of fun and that I ate a lot. He responded saying that it showed that I had eaten a lot. I jokingly said back "Are you calling me fat!?" He looked at my belly and replied "Yes." He was very serious.

Well,I know I'm still very skinny, but I'm on my way!

By the way, Sex and the City was glorious.

Where are you?

Site visitors world map