Thursday, December 18, 2008

Step on the cat!

I'm still in New York for work and I've been having a lovely time. I'll post pictures as soon as I get back.

I'm very sad I missed the snow in Seattle. There's supposed to be a snow storm in New York tomorrow. Hopefully it doesn't screw up my flight home.

I'm pretty ready to go home. I miss everyone. Even the cat. In fact, I asked sister to step on the cat in my absence.

Here's proof that she did:


Friday, December 12, 2008

New York New York!

I'm off to New York tomorrow! I'm being sent out to work at our Hoboken office for a week. I'm flying out a little early with my lovely boyfriend to enjoy all the lights and holiday cheer in the city. It'll be a rough flight (it's at 7am) especially since my office's holiday party is tonight. Better not go overboard with the open bar.

New York/Hoboken will be fun regardless. Things I definitely want to do this weekend:

- Dumplings at Joe's Shanghai
- Dinner at Blue Hill
- Christmas tree at Rockefeller
- Stroll around 5th and Park Ave
- Stroll through Central Park and maybe ice skate
- Get Jewish food
- Dance Dance Dance!

I can't wait!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

All I want for Christmas!

Is this wonderfully adorable little teapot! It's a teapot with a cold. How friggin' precious is this? If it weren't so expensive I would buy it for myself. It is too cute to handle, I could just explode!



I want it I want it! Buy it here for me!

And in other news, I might get a puppy!

Friday, December 5, 2008

A Diva's Christmas Carol


Christmas is almost here and that means I'll be watching some of my favorite Christmas movies on repeat. I'll be sharing those favorites with you in the next few weeks.

I love Christmas Carol remakes and one of my all time favorites is a VH1 made for TV Christmas movie from 2000 that stars Vanessa Williams as a diva name Ebony. Chili from TLC and Kathy Griffin also appear in the movie as ghosts. This movie has it all! A bitchy diva, cheesy songs, children hating, and D-list celebrities. Not to mention 80's flashbacks with Vanessa Williams and Chili in a girl-group. The performance of their song Heartquake is incredible. Photobucket

A Diva's Christmas Carol is available on DVD and VHS from Amazon and I highly recommend this movie to all lovers of Christmas and America! If you don't like this movie, you're a communist!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Project Implicit - I'm racist!

Oh crap. I've just scientifically proven that I'm racist. I took a test at Project Implicit that tests what's actually on your mind and not what you consciously say. I took the Asian IAT test that determined that I associate European Americans as more American than foreign and Asian Americans as more foreign. Sigh. I'm a racist against my own kind. White is right! USA USA!

I also took the Sexuality IAT that says that I am more comfortable with gay people than straight. That one makes sense. There's a bunch of other neat tests on there that are worth trying out. I think I will do the Skin-tone test next to determine my preference for light or dark skin.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Happy Britney's Birthday!


It's Britney Spears' birthday today! Hurrah! I knew she'd have a comeback. A real comeback, not like the comeback I called last time. I'll be listening to her new album and her greatest hits on repeat today. My co-workers are gonna hear me going "womanizah womanizah womanizah!" all day long.

By the way, I highly recommend her tell-all special "For the Record". Looks like she's got it all figured out. She's looking good!

In other news, my co-worker Chelsea got engaged this past weekend! Hooray!

Update!: I just bought tickets to see Britney at the tacoma dome in April.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Back from Blog Abandonment!

Sorry for the lack of posts in the past few weeks. Dating and work have made me a busy girl. But I'm back!

Not much has happened. Here's a quick update:

- I'm smitten for my boyfriend.
- Work has been busy. I'm so excited for all the lovely days I get off in December. In addition to all the holidays I get off, I have a bunch of pto days that I can't carry over to the new year that I must use in December.
- I got a tattoo! It's a lotus in honor of my Mom (lotus was her name in Chinese).

-I've listened to Jesse Mccartney's song "It's over" well over 100 times in the past 3 weeks.

-I'm going on a Carribean cruise in early January!

That is all for now. More updates to come!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I do believe in spooks!

I've been thoroughly preparing for Halloween this year by trying to scare the crap out of myself. I've been watching Paranormal State, asking friends about their experiences with ghosts and visiting haunted places in Seattle. A few weeks ago I went on the Seattle Ghost Tour at Pike Place Market and heard some great history and ghost stories about Seattle. This past Sunday I went to the Lakeview Cemetery on Capital Hill with my boyfriend. We found the graves of Bruce Lee, Brandon Lee, the Denny family, and Nordstroms. I couldn't find the other pioneer families and Princess Angeline (Chief Seattle's daughter), but they're there too!

On Saturday, a small group of us went to Chapel Bar on Capital hill for some drinks and for ghost hunting. Chapel's the previous location of the old Butterworth funeral home. According to people in the law firm next door and the staff at Chapel, the building is supposed to be super haunted, especially the upstairs area. So, we decided to take some pictures around the building and sure enough, we caught a few orbs upstairs. We're confident it wasn't a problem with his camera because we took pictures in other parts of the building but there weren't any orbs. They were only upstairs and around the stairs. So, here they are:

Outside Chapel, no ghosts yet



Going upstairs, still no orbs

View from second floor. Look at all those different sized orbs! Creeeepy

Zoomed in, there was only one dj that night. What's that on the left!?

Going backdownstairs, there are orbs but it's too dark to see...

The pictured is lightened to reveal lots of orbs!

Going back downstairs

The picture is lightened to reveal more orbs! And, there's a scary foggy thing at the left side right by his feet. Spooks walking up and down stairs? Perhaps.


Friday, September 26, 2008

quote of the day

"I deserve every bit of honey I got on my sweet ass"

- My coworker AR

Try to guess the context.

By the way, I'm loving this new Britney song.

Womanizer womanizer womanizer you you you are! you you you are!
Come back!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

She works hard for the money!

So hard for it honey.

I've had this song stuck in my head all morning. It's such a classic and the video is fantastic. The video is the story of my life as an ambitious career girl in the city. Donna Summer is such a stalker in this music video, especially at 2 minutes and 50 seconds when Donna's banging on the woman's door. The end of the video is the best when all the working girls in the city parade the street with their choreographed dance.


Friday, September 19, 2008

Wife Beater

Since I was little, I've always been very active during my sleep. I talk a lot when I'm dreaming and I will often kick or punch my blankets. This happens the most after I eat red meat or food that is too "yeet hay". My sister has even heard me shout out profanities from the other room at night. "F*CK YOU!", "SHUT THE HELL UP", and so on. This must be surprising to most of you considering how well mannered and non-violent I usually am when I'm awake.

This has never really been a problem since I used to sleep alone. But since I've started dating and sharing a bed with other boys, this active dreaming has got me in a bit of trouble. In a previous relationship, there was one night where I ended up punching my ex in the face while I was asleep. What really got me in trouble was when I told him the truth in the morning that I was actually dreaming about punching him. I should've lied.

Well, last night when I was sharing a bed with my current main squeeze (who I haven't given a proper pet name yet. He will temporarily be called Muffin), I had a nightmare where I was in the shower and vampiric zombies were attacking me. I woke up to Muffin making light whimpering noises and me kicking him aggressively. I apologized and went back to sleep. In the morning he told me that I actually kicked him five times and he thought I'd stop after the first few kicks but finally decided to wake me up. That was smart because the zombies weren't going to stop attacking so I would've kept kicking. Luckily, Muffin was very forgiving.

Domestic Violence!Photobucket

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Mmm Mccain


I was watching this video on Yahoo! News today about John Mccain being released as a POW in Vietnam today and I just realized how attractive he was when he was younger. I can't believe he used to be so hot! It's amazing what old age will do to a person.

I'm almost tempted to vote for him now. I'll do some more research on what Joe Biden looked like when he was younger, and I'll get back to you all.

Monday, September 8, 2008

I've been a busy gal!

One thousand apologies for not blogging in a while. I have been keeping myself very busy, but not busy with things worth blogging about. I will update sometime this week, with something very important so stay tuned. It could be anything!

In the meantime, this Onion video about alzheimer's made me laugh today:


Monday, August 18, 2008

Singers for Hire


Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi got married over the weekend, which is pretty exciting news. Yay for gay marriage!

Sadly, I'm probably more excited that Ellen and Portia invited the very handsome singer-songwriter Joshua Radin to perform his collection of mushy love songs at their wedding. I forget sometimes that artists can be hired for private performances, at the right price of course.

I probably won't be able to afford inviting Mariah Carey to sing "Touch My Body" and "Emotions" at my next birthday party, but in the future, lesser known artists such as Joshua Radin might be affordable. I should start saving up.


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Hot damn!

So my blog pretty much exploded, thanks to my previous post about Isis being a transgendered contestant in the upcoming cycle of Top Model. I've had over 2,500 visitors in the past two days, which is 2,495 more than I would usually get. Thanks, Dlisted!

However, I started second guessing myself after some of my coworkers asked me if I was 100% sure that Isis was indeed transgendered. I guess I wasn't entirely sure, but I was pretty confidant that I was right. Luckily, I got confirmation today from Gossip Wire. Phew!! How horrible would that have been if I was wrong!? I would have been humiliated for spreading an internet-wide rumor.

Good thing I was right, as I usually am. I'm totally rooting for Isis now.

On an unrelated note, I just learned about Michael Phelps 12,000 calorie a day diet from Yahoo! News. That's insane! That's how I have to start eating if I ever want to reach my Happy Weight. My weight gain diet is going well though, I'm up to 141! I no longer look emaciated, hurrah!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Top Model Cycle 11 Twist! I KNEW IT!

I totally called this! Previous twists in past ANTM seasons have been to include contestants who are lesbian, bisexual, plus size, autistic, and twins, and now Tyra's going to have a transgendered girl on the show! Photos for season 11 were just released and Isis, who was briefly shown in cycle 11, will be an actual contestant! Check it out!

Isis from a promo pic of top model cycle 11.

Isis from the homeless photoshoot of cycle 10.

Reciprocity Foundation

I'm so excited, but kind of sad that my working uterus never came in the mail...better luck for cycle 12!

Update: Thanks to all the visitors from for checking out my blog! I've never received this many clicks before. Check out the rest of my blog too before you leave, I've got everything from skid marks to portly strangers to bad farmer's tans.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Skid Mark Alert!

On our way home from work today, my sister snapped the picture bellow of a biker heading up Pine. Someone forgot to wipe...


It's a little difficult to see, but the quality is surprisingly good considering my sister used her new iphone. Here's a close-up:


Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Giggling Babies, Dandylions and Butterflies!

In June, I wrote an entry titled
These are a few of my favorite things
about all the queries that people typed into search engines to discover my blog. Some of my favorite searches included "how to stop old lady feeding pigeons in my neighbourhood" and "dog sadism".

Well, yesterday morning I had a visitor from the Russian Federation who found my site through Google. This person's search query is now my new favorite:

kids sadism sites

Who are these people and what kind of sick fetish sites are they expecting to find on the internet!? I searched for "kids sadism sites" in Google and my blog is the fifth site listed. Damnit! Even worse, when searching for the phrase "dog sadism", my site is listed first in the organic search results.

I really need to start writing about more pleasant things if I ever want normal people to find my blog. Sadly, I'll probably have more sickos coming to my site now since I used the terms "Russian Federation", "kids sadism" and "sick fetish sites" in this blog entry. Well, it's high time that I start attracting my desired target audience!

Chocolate cake, gardening, turnips, food network, america's next top model cycle 11, so you think you can dance, just dance lady gaga, seattle, hungry hungry hippos, zac efron in high school musical 3, hurray!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

You Fokker!


My cousin LookRichBitch often writes about all the pretty things she wants to buy, so it's high time that I wrote about what I want.

The beautiful spectacles above were designed by Orgreen, a company from Denmark that crafts eyewear inspired by high-end race cars. The pair above is called the Fokker and was handmade in Japan. I tried them on last night at Market Optical and they fit like a dream. They look amazing on me and they really make my bone structure pop. The Fokker is made of titanium so it's extremely durable and very lightweight. I want the Fokker. Now!

The problem of course is money. The stupid Fokker costs a lot. Um, "a lot" as in about $750 (this includes lenses). I know that's probably too much to pay for a pair of glasses, but did I mention how good they look on me? Really, really good. It would be a crime not to accent my bone structure with these lovely frames.

If I were to buy a designer bag for that much, I would get a lot more approval, well maybe just from LookRichBitch. But still. And yes, that's two plugs in one post for LookRichBitch. Make that three.

I haven't indulged in a while, so I'll probably go to Market Optical after my next paycheck. I can't stop thinking about the Fokker!

I know that my birthday was last week, but won't someone buy me the Fokker?

Thursday, July 24, 2008

It's a Boy!


As a reminder to all my loyal readers, if you haven't bought me my birthday present yet, my 23rd birthday is tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow! It crept up on us, I know. And yes, I'm finally turning 23, and finally becoming a lady! Wait, what?

Back to presents! I've been making pretty outrageous demands for my birthday week. For instance, I want a live ostrich. And I want the ostrich to lay golden, jewel encrusted eggs. Bejeweled Ostrich Eggs for breakfast!

More ridiculous requests to come tomorrow.

Sexily Yours,


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Portly Stranger


I find it amusing when unsuspecting people end up in my pictures. The corpulent gentleman standing behind me in the above photo is the perfect example. I just noticed him today as I was reviewing pictures from my recent visit to Chicago.

Who is this mysterious man and what is he doing in the picture? It appears he's having trouble removing one of his sandals. There are other shoes by his feet, so he's not alone. Why are none of his friends assisting him? And I wonder if he intends on removing his oversized t-shirt. Or maybe he will keep it on.

He reminds me of the fat boy from one of my favorite Onion videos who kept his shirt on in the pool to avoid being made fun of:

Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

Wednesday, July 16, 2008



I am no longer with the times. I don't know when this happened, but it did. I'm getting older and I no longer know what's hip and cool with the kids. This became evident when I discovered not too long ago that "Hannah Montana" and Miley Cyrus are actually the same person. Yikes.

So, instead of following the footsteps of Drew Barrymore's character Josie Grossie from the late 90's classic "Never Been Kissed" and returning to high school disguised as a teenager to get with the times again, I decided to learn what's hip simply by chatting with a pre-teen. The coolest pre-teen I know is my niece Jules so I took advantage of a family get-together yesterday and got the scoop from her.

Here's what I learned:

- We heart the Jonas Brothers.
- The new Jonas Brother song is amazing.
- The eldest Jonas Brother is named Kevin.
- Watch Camp Rock on the Disney Channel.
- We can't wait for High School Musical 3.
- Ashley Tisdale is okay. Just okay.
- We like Zac Efron.
- We DO NOT like Allie Lohan. She is mean to her mom.
- We love Avatar.

The above statements are now my opinion too. I am cool again.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Summer Friday!

It's the first Summer Friday at work today. Hurrah! Freedom.

Please enjoy the following video -

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Hungry Hungry Hippo!


My coworker Peter sent this to me. It's insane!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Too late to 'pologize!

Sorry for not having posted in a while. I was in Chicago for the long weekend and I haven't had very good blog material. That, and my creativity is ever decreasing as I continue to age - my birthday is in 2 weeks! Did you know that by the time you're 40 you will have 1% of the creativity you had when you were 5? Fascinating.

Actually, I'm not sure if that statistic is correct. I remember hearing a statistic similar to that in a college marketing class I took, but I don't remember the numbers exactly. It sounds about right though.

Speaking of 'pologizing, I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar in my free time this summer and I just learned how to play One Republic's Apologize. The fun thing is I made it acoustic and very emo. I can do a pretty decent cover of the song now. My goal is to turn the song folksy by the weekend.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Pride Burns!

I experienced my first Pride this weekend and it was such a treat! I learned a very valuable lesson though. Don't wear v-necks when it's 90 degrees out.


What I don't understand is why the V isn't centered. Not that my body was completely symmetrical to begin with, but this certainly doesn't help. I was so worried about my arms getting a farmer's tan that I completely forgot that other parts of my body could get nasty tan lines too. Not to mention my neck. I'm a redneck now! I think I can embrace being a redneck though. I stopped by Safeway this afternoon and got a bag of deliciously fried Jo Jos for lunch. Mmm so greasy.

My nose is probably burnt the most. But it's also bruised. No, there were no girl fights, just drunken dancing.

A side note about Pride. I never realized how many gay men there are in Seattle! There were probably a lot of visitors from out of town, but it's still surprising!

Friday, June 27, 2008

These are a few of my favorite things

In the past few months, random strangers have stumbled across my blog through search engines by searching for the weirdest things. Here are some of my favorite search queries from the past few months that people have used to find my blog:

pazzo simply crazy shoes - simply crazy!

dog sadism - sicko.

how to stop old lady feeding pigeons in my neighbourhood - kill the pigeons

john bartlett black suit super 110 - what the hell?

cooking and nutrition sing-a-longs lyric - adorable! I hope they found what they were looking for.

pepperoni sticks pork-heart - I'm glad someone else was equally as grossed out that they had to go online to learn more.

ideal weight" "figure skating" formula russian - What?

male dior model workout - sorry, buddy, not gonna find that here.

how do you say cry in italian Pazzo - it's piangere, not pazzo. Pazzo means CRAZY!

i,m 69 inch male and 145 pounds am i fat - No you aren't! That's what I'm aspiring for!

sadism - Sicko!

man cleavage - Yes, you will find that here. Plenty of man cleavage for everyone!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Almost Famous

My sister is famous! ...almost

Check out this recent article from the Seattle Times. My sister was interviewed and she revealed something pretty amusing about herself.

Why the doctor's scale gives us the chills

By Nicole Tsong

Seattle Times staff reporter

Karen Cheung likes to weigh herself first thing in the morning, pre-breakfast, sans clothes and alone. Sound familiar?

But at the doctor's office, with a weighing witness on hand, the same measures taken for accuracy, such as removing shoes and pulling change from pockets, can feel humiliating. There's also the tap-tap-tapping business of a balance scale that usually traps you into an unfortunate verdict.

"The doctor [weigh-in] is always more," said Seattleite Cheung, 24. "I just know it's three or four pounds off."

The doctor's office strips you down to your most naked, figuratively. For a brief moment, all the personal obsessing goes public, and the result is recorded for posterity. For whatever reasons, all that fumbling around, taking off shoes, jackets and more, never works out — it always seems as if there are a few extra pounds. And then, there are no redos unless you count next year.

There is an expert explanation for this weighty issue, with several factors contributing to weight fluctuation during the day. That's helpful for people like Cheung who know what their real weight is, but people living on Planet Denial might have to face the scale.

"I don't know people necessarily weigh themselves regularly," said Bonnie Taub-Dix, a registered dietitian in New York and spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "I have patients who weigh themselves when they go to the doctor's once a year. They're shocked when they see they've gained 10 pounds over a year."

Wait! I've got a false tooth!

Sandra Stufflebeam, a certified medical assistant at Minor & James Medical in Seattle, tries to help the mildly insecure feel better about obsessing over the weigh-in. A bad outcome can mess with your head.

She jokes with patients as they strip accessories that it's "Naked Friday." She tells women that mascara and lotion add pounds, their underwear is made of lead and jeans are heavy.

"I try to have them take off as much as they legally can in the hallway," she said.

People regularly set down bags and take off shoes; she has even seen men take off belts. They also pull out wallets and keys, and she had one patient remove his watch and glasses.

"Men, they try to suck it in like it's going to go somewhere," she said.

Some patients plan ahead. Rhondalei Gabuat, of Renton, once had a routine on the day of a doctor's appointment: The 28-year-old used the restroom beforehand, ate sparingly and wore light clothing and flip flops.

Gabuat no longer focuses as much on the trip to the scale during a doctor's visit. Now, results sometimes compel her into monitoring her weight more.

"The last time I got weighed, I didn't feel heavier, but the number on the scale made a difference," she said.

Your permanent record

Bridget Haney, 52, of Bremerton, said she doesn't always remember what she weighs when she gets on a scale at home. But the doctor's record feels permanent.

"It's good if you're making progress, then you see that," she said. "It's more a reality check because somebody else is weighing you."

But that number usually isn't enough to persuade her to change the way she eats and exercises.

"I suppose if I were having health issues or the doctor said you really need to lose weight, I might, but nobody's said that so far."

The weigh-in affects how you feel about yourself, though more for some than others, said Taub-Dix.

"It can have a strong psychological impact from the number on the scale," she said.

Our ups and downs

Weight fluctuates for several reasons, experts say, but it also helps to know what your base weight typically is.

Clothing, time of day, when you use the bathroom, water weight and hormones all play into weight change during the day.

"There are things you may have to take into consideration," Taub-Dix said. "Did you eat a very salty meal the day before, or a pickle? Sodium will have an effect on your weight because it causes fluid retention."

The scale also could be the culprit. Unless you know your doctor has the scale calibrated consistently, it's possible the scale is off.

But finding out more by regularly stepping on a scale at home is the most reliable way to track yourself, whether you're maintaining your current weight or trying to lose. At home, you can control time of day and what you're wearing.

Some people do well with daily weigh-ins, while others prefer once a week. Make sure to keep it reasonable so it works for you, experts say.

Cheung adds more accountability to her routine with another witness — a friend. They meet once a week for weigh-ins.

"We share," she said. "We're supposed to be in this together. We need to keep each other on track."

Now at the doctor's office, instead of fretting like she did when she was younger, she puts down her handbag and steps on.

"I kind of already know approximately what it's going to be, so it's not really a shock," she said.

The other alternative is saying no to the doctor's scale. You're allowed. Weighing is not supposed to be traumatic.

"It should be a confirmation, not a reprimand," said Taub-Dix.

Summer Fridays!

Hot damn! A new "Summer Fridays" policy was just implemented which will allow us to get out of work early on Fridays at 2:00. It will take effect July 4th through Labor day. Hurrah!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Give me your calories!

My coworker Peter warns me that the following video is the reason that I need to gain weight. I think he's right.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Have your cake


The cake shown above was purchased from two pleasantly plump ladies who sell their baked goods at the Issaquah farmer's market. This is the second cake we bought from them and it was just as delicious as the first. Surprisingly, the cake lasted about 5 days.

I want more!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Hot Damn!

I need to even out my farmer's tan so this better be accurate!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Tick Tock Tick Tock

Some of you have already been warned about my newly developed bad habit, but I'll let the rest of you in on it so that you can take the necessary precautions.

My new bad habit involves Madonna's song 4 Minutes. A few times during the song, Madonna sings "Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock". So naturally, every time she sings this, I raise both of my index fingers and wave them back and forth to the "tick tocks". Now, this may all seem like harmless fun, but things become dangerous when I'm doing this while I'm driving. Whenever 4 Minutes comes on the radio and it gets to that part of the song, both of my hands naturally come off the wheel and my fingers can't help but tick and tock. It's very unsafe and I feel like a hazard. I really can't help it though.

I don't know if I should attribute this behavior to being gay or to being a bad driver. I'm guessing it's a horrible combination.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


My goldfish plant finally started flowering. Hurrah!


Monday, June 16, 2008


We brought our new cat home this weekend! Her name is Turnip and she's adorable. She's still very shy and getting used to her new environment. Turnip started warming up a little yesterday.

Special delivery!



Eat it!

Our allergies have been okay so far.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Friday the 13th

Today is Friday the 13th! I'm wildly superstitious, as most of you know, and the first bad things has happened to me already. The deli that I buy my breakfast burritos from has closed... until August.

This is the nightmare of my life. Those breakfast burritos are disgustingly delicious with their greasy hash browns, eggs, sausage and cheese. What ever will I do? I hope this day doesn't get any worse.

This is most inauspicious.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


I wore trousers and a collared shirt to work today since I'm going to my cousin's graduation ceremony tonight. Thank you to AR for pointing out how "fabulous" my ass looks in the trousers. I just went to the bathroom to take a look for myself and she's right, my ass is looking especially perky today. Wonderful. Perhaps I should wear trousers more.

Yes, I like the word trouser.


Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I love Onions

Diet Book Author Advocates New 'No Food Diet'

This video is very relevant to my weight gain diet. I should do exactly the opposite. I'm gnawing on my highly caloric coworker right now.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I went to my first yoga class at 8 Limbs on Saturday. What a workout! I'm still sore today, especially around my inner thighs. The focus of the class was "opening the groin". Supposedly, Americans have really tense groins since we're always sitting at desks, crossing our legs and since we don't squat regularly, like people do in other countries. Every time the instructor said the word "groin" I giggled a little. I'm mature.

Turns out my groin region is very tense, along with every other part of my body. My toes, however, are very loose and relaxed. We did a squatting pose where we put most of our weight on just the toes, and I didn't feel a thing. It's a good sign of healthy, relaxed toes! Must be from years of picking up random stuff with my toes, like remote controls and food that's fallen on the floor.

I'm excited for my next class!

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Man Crush


My man crush Anthony Bourdain spoke at the Moore last night and made me fall in love with him even more. Anthony was exactly the way he's portrayed in his show No Reservations. He was sharp, witty and very snarky. He also cussed a lot and referenced the Simpsons multiple times.

Anthony gave great insight on where he thought the culinary world was headed and shared his philosophy of good food. He also had no trouble censoring himself. He called Rachel Ray a rhino and poked fun at pretty much every food network "star", especially Sandra Lee. I found out that he and I share a similar appreciation of Giada De Laurentis, Mario Batali (and his dad's restaurant Salumi's) and Ina Garten.

I love Anthony Bourdain and want to have all of his skinny babies.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

What's new pussycat?

My sister's friend offered us a cat yesterday since he has too many. Karen is considering adopting it. I'm not sure if it's such a good idea considering all of us are allergic, especially her boyfriend.

I don't really mind since I won't be the one taking care of the cat, and I have my own floor and can just close the door to keep allergens out. The nice thing about adopting this cat over getting a kitten is that it's already 6 years old, so it's trained and we know what type of personality it has. It won't be as cute as a kitten though.

Another plus of adopting this cat is the satisfaction guarantee we've been offered by her friend. If we're too allergic or can't handle the cat, we can return it to him.

So, these are the steps to determining if you're ready for children:

1. Have Kevin (or any other little brother) as a room mate
2. Adopt a cat
3. Have babies!

I would much rather get a hamster. We can put the hamster in one of those little plastic balls and attach it to the Roomba! What fun.

By the way, here's a fantastic video of little kittens fighting. There's a delightful suprise at the end!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I'm not suitable for work

Brr! It feels like fall right now. How is it so cold and rainy in June? It's so difficult getting up in the morning. You know it's cold when I start nipping at work. I noticed this when I went to the bathroom this morning to check myself out. With the small amount of shame I still have left, I put on a coat to cover up. It's bad enough I'm wearing another one of my cleavage shirts.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I'm a man, damnit!

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I spent this past Saturday afternoon with one of my favorite girls, dishing about boys over happy hour and watching the new Sex and the City movie (which was glorious, by the way). So, I decided to balance out this estrogen packed afternoon with an evening of mixed martial arts on CBS.

The little boy in me has always had a fascination with violence, but what drew me in initially was Gina Carano, aka Crush on American Gladiators. Turns out Crush is also a mixed martial arts fighter. She's quite good actually. I went upstairs to grab some chips and noticed my sister's boyfriend watching Gina "Conviction" Carano, or Crush, punching another girl's face repeatedly. I was hooked.

Oh yeah, and the fighters of mixed martial arts usually have intimidating nicknames like Conviction or Ruthless. One of the fighters who works at a steel mill for his day job goes by the name of "Hands of Steel". Clever. I think mine would be "Carnival Crazy". Kevin "Carnival Crazy" C__. It's perfect.

The main attraction for the night was the controversial Kimbo Slice who started off as a street fighter and has recently been given a lot of attention in the world of mixed martial arts. This man is scary. He weighs well over 200 pounds and has a huge beard. What could he possibly be hiding under that beard? Fire ants, broken glass? And did I mention this man has gold teeth?

What I would really want to see is a fight between Kimbo and Wolf from American Gladiators. My money's on Wolf.

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Sunday, June 1, 2008

I guess it's working?

So apparently my weight gain diet has been working. Over the weekend, a casual acquaintance of mine asked me about my recent trip to New York. I replied saying I had a lot of fun and that I ate a lot. He responded saying that it showed that I had eaten a lot. I jokingly said back "Are you calling me fat!?" He looked at my belly and replied "Yes." He was very serious.

Well,I know I'm still very skinny, but I'm on my way!

By the way, Sex and the City was glorious.

Friday, May 30, 2008

My Super Power


A random question popped into my head this morning as I was showering and getting ready for work: "If I had a super power, what would it be?"

I thought about this a bit and came to the conclusion that I would probably be stuck with a power that was embarrassingly lame but practical. I would have the power to tell time (without a watch or a clock!). I would have an innate sense of time... in any timezone. I would be the lamest mutant ever.

The government might hire me for some reason or another. Probably not. Chances are good Professor X would let me join the X-Men out of pity. I probably wouldn't even get a special spandex suit. I would just wear my everyday street clothes. I would wear my hair big though. Very, very big hair.

My greatest contribution to the team would probably involve keeping the X-Men on schedule. As the X-Men fought Magneto and his team of super villains, I would kindly remind Storm, "Girl, it's 8:47! So You Think You Can Dance is on in 13 minutes. Lets wrap this up!" It would be a sad existence and I would eventually be banished to live underground with the Morlocks.

Ok, I change my mind. I'll fly.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

New York, New York Pt. 2

After surviving the 5 hour delay at the airport, experiencing a little jetlag, and having a very restful memorial day weekend, I'm back at work! I've actually been very productive up to this point. Whatever, it's my break. I do what I want. Shit.

The rest of my trip in New York was fun and full of mischief. Here are some more pictures!

On the subway

On the subway

Ground Zero

Lost boys

Ah! Leave us alone!

Sleezey Karl

At Splash

Karl's o-face


Gay-KK of the search team

This is a funny one

Guess the chest!

It was fleet week

I made some friends from Israel!

I convinced them to go to Starbucks...

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