You Fokker!

My cousin LookRichBitch often writes about all the pretty things she wants to buy, so it's high time that I wrote about what I want.

The beautiful spectacles above were designed by Orgreen, a company from Denmark that crafts eyewear inspired by high-end race cars. The pair above is called the Fokker and was handmade in Japan. I tried them on last night at Market Optical and they fit like a dream. They look amazing on me and they really make my bone structure pop. The Fokker is made of titanium so it's extremely durable and very lightweight. I want the Fokker. Now!

The problem of course is money. The stupid Fokker costs a lot. Um, "a lot" as in about $750 (this includes lenses). I know that's probably too much to pay for a pair of glasses, but did I mention how good they look on me? Really, really good. It would be a crime not to accent my bone structure with these lovely frames.

If I were to buy a designer bag for that much, I would get a lot more approval, well maybe just from LookRichBitch. But still. And yes, that's two plugs in one post for LookRichBitch. Make that three.

I haven't indulged in a while, so I'll probably go to Market Optical after my next paycheck. I can't stop thinking about the Fokker!

I know that my birthday was last week, but won't someone buy me the Fokker?

It's a Boy!

As a reminder to all my loyal readers, if you haven't bought me my birthday present yet, my 23rd birthday is tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow! It crept up on us, I know. And yes, I'm finally turning 23, and finally becoming a lady! Wait, what?

Back to presents! I've been making pretty outrageous demands for my birthday week. For instance, I want a live ostrich. And I want the ostrich to lay golden, jewel encrusted eggs. Bejeweled Ostrich Eggs for breakfast!

More ridiculous requests to come tomorrow.

Sexily Yours,

Kevin

Portly Stranger

I find it amusing when unsuspecting people end up in my pictures. The corpulent gentleman standing behind me in the above photo is the perfect example. I just noticed him today as I was reviewing pictures from my recent visit to Chicago.

Who is this mysterious man and what is he doing in the picture? It appears he's having trouble removing one of his sandals. There are other shoes by his feet, so he's not alone. Why are none of his friends assisting him? And I wonder if he intends on removing his oversized t-shirt. Or maybe he will keep it on.

He reminds me of the fat boy from one of my favorite Onion videos who kept his shirt on in the pool to avoid being made fun of:


Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

OMG I HEART HSM3!

I am no longer with the times. I don't know when this happened, but it did. I'm getting older and I no longer know what's hip and cool with the kids. This became evident when I discovered not too long ago that "Hannah Montana" and Miley Cyrus are actually the same person. Yikes.

So, instead of following the footsteps of Drew Barrymore's character Josie Grossie from the late 90's classic "Never Been Kissed" and returning to high school disguised as a teenager to get with the times again, I decided to learn what's hip simply by chatting with a pre-teen. The coolest pre-teen I know is my niece Jules so I took advantage of a family get-together yesterday and got the scoop from her.

Here's what I learned:

- We heart the Jonas Brothers.
- The new Jonas Brother song is amazing.
- The eldest Jonas Brother is named Kevin.
- Watch Camp Rock on the Disney Channel.
- We can't wait for High School Musical 3.
- Ashley Tisdale is okay. Just okay.
- We like Zac Efron.
- We DO NOT like Allie Lohan. She is mean to her mom.
- We love Avatar.

The above statements are now my opinion too. I am cool again.

Summer Friday!

It's the first Summer Friday at work today. Hurrah! Freedom.

Please enjoy the following video -

Hungry Hungry Hippo!

My coworker Peter sent this to me. It's insane!

Too late to 'pologize!

Sorry for not having posted in a while. I was in Chicago for the long weekend and I haven't had very good blog material. That, and my creativity is ever decreasing as I continue to age - my birthday is in 2 weeks! Did you know that by the time you're 40 you will have 1% of the creativity you had when you were 5? Fascinating.

Actually, I'm not sure if that statistic is correct. I remember hearing a statistic similar to that in a college marketing class I took, but I don't remember the numbers exactly. It sounds about right though.

Speaking of 'pologizing, I've been trying to learn how to play the guitar in my free time this summer and I just learned how to play One Republic's Apologize. The fun thing is I made it acoustic and very emo. I can do a pretty decent cover of the song now. My goal is to turn the song folksy by the weekend.